Time and Tide
by Discordia19
Summary: Response to Thanatos' A New World challenge. Hidan is sent to the One Piece world after being buried alive, and joins the crew of a future Supernova. No Slash, Yaoi, or any other kind of pairing.
1. Chapter 0: Cultist vs Magician

A/N: Hey there folks, _Discordia19 _here with my response to _Thanatos_' challenge **A New World**. The rules were simple, take any _Naruto _character that isn't Naruto and put him in the _One Piece_ world. Whatever happens after that is up to you. So here goes nothing. Masashi Kishimoto and Eiichirō Oda are the geniuses responsible for the worlds; I'm just one of many people riding on the coattails.

**xoxoxoxoxox**

Chapter 0: Cultist vs. Magician

On a desolate beach in the North Blue, a crab crawled across the sand, moving towards a small dune. The crab froze as the dune shook slightly before it continued its trek up. Just before it reached the top, a hand burst through and crushed it. The hand was attached to an arm, naturally, and that arm was attached to a man. This was strange, since the last the man could remember, he hadn't been attached to any of his limbs. In fact, his head hadn't been attached to anything. He had been blown into pieces and then buried alive by a kid. A smart kid, the man conceded, but a kid nonetheless. The man rose out of the sand and checked himself over. His Akatsuki robe had been destroyed from the waist up; leaving him wearing what was roughly a loincloth over his pants and sandals. He still had his Jashin medallion, his scythe, and a pouch full of his only tool, the telescoping pikes he used after his curse had been set.

Hidan, former missing-nin, member of Akatsuki, and one half of the Zombi Combi, looked around the beach wondering where he was. _Ok, so there's a big fucking ocean. Maybe I'm in Kiri? No, that shithole only has swamps. There are no beaches in the whole elemental nations, as far as I know._ He looked towards the horizon, where a large ship was sailing towards the island. _Praise Jashin. Answers approach. _He thought with a grin.

**xoxoxoxoxox**

"Captain Hawkins! Land ahoy!" Shouted the man in the crow's nest. Basil Hawkins, captain of the Hawkins pirates, looked off the bow towards the tiny speck of sand and began to shuffle his cards. Laying them in front of him, he glanced at the various outcomes of landing there with disinterest, until he focused with a start at the outcome he always checked.

_A ninety-five percent chance my crew would be wiped out if we landed there? Perhaps we should skip this island… _He shifted the cards, checking for any gain. _A ninety percent chance I'll find something useful on the island. _ "Prepare a longboat. I'm going ashore alone." He said softly. "Gather the prisoners on the deck. I need to prepare my 'dolls'."

His crew exchanged wary glances before setting about to follow his orders. If the captain was preparing his devil fruit's darkest ability this far in advance, he must have seen something foreboding in the cards. From the crow's nest, the navigator could see a silver-haired man lying on the beach with a number of spears stuck through his chest. _Perhaps the island _is _dangerous. _"Begging your pardon, Captain, but there appears to be a dead man on the beach. Are you certain you want to go alone?"

"I do not see the shadow of death on myself this day. However, its pallid hand is waiting to grasp the crew if they set foot on that island." Hawkins said, checking that his sword was clear in its scabbard. "Prepare the longboat." He said again, his hand shifting to straw and nails as he took a sample of each of the prisoners' blood. _Fifteen dolls. It should be enough. _He thought, climbing into the boat and rowing towards the island.

**xoxoxoxoxox**

Hidan was waiting patiently, murmuring prayers to Jashin as he lay in his god's symbol with spears through each of his organs. He could hear the sounds of a boat approaching, the slap of the oars growing louder as it approached. With a grunt, he rose, pulling the pikes from his chest as he watched the small boat come to shore. Strangely, the man in the boat avoided even stepping in the water, leaping over the front of the boat and landing safely on the beach.

"Good afternoon." Basil Hawkins said, watching with mild fascination as the wounds on the man's chest healed slowly. "May I ask how you're doing that? Is it some manner of devil fruit? Logia perhaps?"

Hidan stared for a second, before smirking. "I have no idea what you're talking about. No fucking clue what a 'logia' is. And you've got one other thing wrong…" Hidan said, pulling his scythe from behind him.

Hawkins' eyes narrowed, as he placed a hand on the pommel of his sword. "And what is that?"

"I'M THE ONE ASKING THE QUESTIONS!" Hidan shouted, swinging the scythe by its cord in a horizontal arc, trying to trap the man's head between the blades. Hawkins' reaction was to sigh and duck, looking in anticipation as the scythe whipped around and embedded itself in the loud man's midsection. Hidan grunted as his weapon pierced his stomach, growing angry. "That fucking hurts, you bastard! Now answer my questions before I get really pissed!"

"You haven't actually asked anything yet, loudmouth." Hawkins pointed out dryly, wondering if _this _was the danger to his crew.

Hidan paused at that, before laughing. "I suppose that's true, isn't it? You'll have to forgive me. I spent the last month buried alive, and I fear it must have affected what few screws I had left."

Hawkins stared, wondering if the man were a lunatic. _Actually, I think he just admitted that he was. But that doesn't necessarily mean he's mistaken. _"You've been buried on this island for a month?"

Hidan shrugged. "Actually, I was buried in a forest. I don't really recall moving, but I just dug myself up over there, so who knows?" He pointed over to a man-sized hole in the sand. Hidan pulled his scythe free from his stomach and dropped into a low-stance. "Now then, where the fuck am I?" He asked, flinging the scythe forward and following it with a pike extended.

Hawkins side-stepped the scythe and parried the pike. "You're in the North Blue, on a small island in the middle of nowhere. Where should you be?" He asked, slicing Hidan across the chest and backing further inland, away from the water.

"Last I knew, I was buried alive in the middle of a forest in that shithole Konoha, in the middle of Fire Country. Where's the nearest Hidden Village?" Hidan demanded, allowing his wound to close again.

"I have no idea what a "hidden village" is. By definition, it sounds like that's the idea. Nor do I know of any Konoha anywhere near here." Hawkins spun his sword with a flick of his wrist, preparing an attack of his own. "I'll ask again. How is it your wounds keep healing? Did you eat a Devil Fruit similar to my own?"

Hidan spat off to the side. "That again? I have no idea what a 'Devil Fruit' is. But it sounds interesting. Even more interesting, is that you make it sound like you can do the same thing I can." He began to spin his scythe. "But if that were the case, you wouldn't keep dodging my attacks like a pansy."

Hawkins stoic expression slipped into acceptance. "You wish to see what I can do? Fine." He took the brunt of Hidan's next swing head-on, the scythe skewering through his chest and shoulder. As Hawkins pulled it free, a small straw doll fell from his arm, bearing three puncture wounds on its chest. Back on the ship, he knew, his crew would be throwing one of the prisoners overboard. "I can transfer wounds to others, as long as I have a sample of their blood or other form of DNA."

Hidan paused, yanking his scythe back. "And how are you able to do that?"

"I ate a Devil Fruit, of course. Since you don't seem to know much about the world, I'll explain, if you're willing to stop trying to kill me." Hawkins said, seating himself on the beach and pulling out his cards.

Hidan sat as well. "Fine. While you explain, and…do whatever it is you're planning with those cards, do you mind if I pray to my God for forgiveness? It's a sin in His eyes to engage an opponent and not kill him."

Hawkins stared for a brief second. "Not at all. I wouldn't have pegged you as the religious type. May I ask your God's name? And yours, as well?"

Hidan slashed his wrist, pouring his blood in a circle and triangle. "My name's Hidan; and I am a humble worshipper of Jashin, God of Slaughter and Conquest." He lay in the circle and skewered himself again with a pike. "And you are?"

Hawkins watched in fascination for a moment, before returning to his cards. "Basil Hawkins, captain of the ship you see there and all crew present." _I can see no probability of him dying in the immediate future. Given his apparent resistance to injury, that probably shouldn't be surprising. _"As you've seen, I possess the ability to transfer injury to others. A few months ago, I consumed a fruit that was rumored to be a Devil Fruit. I know not its name, or any other abilities it may have given me, only that it is what we call a 'paramecia' type."

"So logia and paramecia are both types of these Devil Fruit? Are there any others? How common are they?" Hidan asked between murmured prayers.

"There is a third type, which has many sub-types, called Zoan. The fruit themselves are incredibly rare, though there tend to be at least one "user" among the more famous pirate crews. And of course the Marines have quite a few users in their ranks."

"So which are you? Pirate or Marine?" Hidan asked, deep in thought. "And what do the three types do?"

"I'm a pirate, of course. No one orders me where to sail besides fate. It is by these cards that I plan my next move. In fact, they warned me against bringing my crew to this island, but promised I'd find something interesting if I made the journey myself. Clearly, the cards were warning my crew against stumbling upon you, but also mentioning you to me." Hawkins smiled as he put his cards away. "For your second question, paramecia fruit offer a single ability to their eater, and are considered the "weakest". Obviously though, that depends on what one considers "weak". Logia allow the eater to turn into an element. Rumor tells of a pirate who can turn himself into flames, and the Schichibukai Sir Crocodile can turn himself into sand, apparently. These are considered the strongest, for plain reason. They allow the eater to be impervious to harm by turning into their element. What use is a sword slash against a being made of fire, after all?"

Hidan frowned. _This is a strange place I find myself in. Strange, but infinitely more interesting than hunting for the bijuu. _"And the final type?"

"Yes, the zoan fruit grant the user to turn into an animal, which is predicated by the fruit they choose. This is why I said there were many sub-types of zoan fruit."

"Are there any drawbacks to eating one of these Devil Fruit?" Hidan asked, rising from his prayers and removing his pikes.

"Yes, of course. What power doesn't have its price? According to legend, once you eat of the fruit of the sea devil, the sea itself turns against you. You forever lose your ability to swim, and being even partially submerged in water makes you weak and sluggish." Hawkins rose, sheathing his sword. "Now, Hidan, if you don't mind, I have a question to ask of you."

Hidan put his scythe on his shoulder and cocked an eyebrow. "And what would that be, Basil Hawkins?"

"How would you like to join my crew?"

**xoxoxoxoxox**

**Endnote: **So here's the (admittedly) short first chapter. I hate putting time skips in in the middle of a chapter, so I decided the first chapter would have to be short. The next chapter will take place two years after this, which probably necessitates me explaining my imagined timeline for this story.

Hidan emerges two years before Luffy sets out to sea. Oda hasn't given any back story for the Hawkins pirates just yet, so in my mind, they first set sail around this time. Hawkins has the third highest bounty of the Supernovas, which, considering Kidd is a mass-murderer and Luffy declared war on the government, means he's been doing run-of-the-mill piracy for a bit longer than either of those two. Hawkins ate his devil fruit, set out to sea, and roped together a few members of a crew in a manner of months. I don't see the crew mentioned in my story being the members of the actual Hawkins pirates shown in _One Piece _so far. After the time skip, these members will appear, the OCs I used for this chapter having died/been killed by Hidan long ago. So Hidan will be the First Mate of the Hawkins pirates in this story.

As for Hidan joining the Hawkins pirates in the first place, let's think about what we know about them to begin with. Each appears to conform to a religion with a focus on death. What better crew for a follower of Jashin to join? Also, I see Hawkins pairing his voodoo dolls to Hidan working out very well for both of them. Transfer the damage to an immortal!

Hawkins knows so much about the various Devil Fruit because he's been doing research, trying to figure out just what fruit he ate. (This saves me the trouble of making up a name for what Oda hasn't provided yet) Obviously, he hasn't succeeded in that regard just yet, but he knows quite a bit about the various types. He's already heard of Ace, who was offered a position in the Schichibukai almost immediately, so is likely pretty famous. In terms of Hidan eating a devil fruit; that I'm not sure about just yet. What are your thoughts on the matter? In my opinion, Hidan had to sacrifice the majority of his ability to mold chakra to gain his immortality (hence his lack of jutsu use, but ability to stick to trees), so personality-wise, he'd be more than willing to give up being able to swim for an ability. Any suggestions for a fruit? I've read that there were rumors that Akainu had a blood-related logia before his lava abilities were revealed, and that idea seems fitting enough for Hidan.

Anyways, this Endnote has been almost a page already, so I'll just ask you to stay-tuned and please Review! See you next time, true believers.


	2. Chapter 1: Shootout and Sharpshooter

**A/N: **Sorry about the delay folks. I had a little vacation to Michigan all last week, then got back and finally bought _Mass Effect 2_. I figured I'd better haul ass to upload this chapter before the 26th, when _Fable 3 _drops and I vanish from the world.

Also, last chapter I told a horrible lie and said the story would skip forward two years. In actuality, it'll be six months, with a few more minor ones in the chapters to come til we get to Sabaody Archipelago. I'll try to keep the build up to a minimum, and introduce two crew members a chapter for two chapters, have a little adventure, then introduce Hidan to the Straw-Hat crew. And that's my general rundown for the first arc of the story. Hope you enjoy this chapter, which introduces the Christian Monk member of Hawkins' crew. If you can guess the source of his name, I'll let you decide whether Hidan gets a DF or not, since I'm too lazy to decide for myself either way.

**Disclaimer: **Since I'm neither Masashi Kishimoto nor Eichiro Oda, it should be obvious that I own nothing that follows. If it isn't, I own nothing that follows.

**xoxoxoxoxox**

Chapter 1: Shootout and Sharpshooter

"Why are we stopping at this shithole again, _captain_?" Hidan asked, lounging against the railing of the small boat as it pulled into the harbor at Loguetown.

"Because, Hidan, whether you've noticed or not, we're the only two crewmembers the Hawkins pirates have left. Besides, in your six months living in this world, you still haven't grasped the key factor in its history: the start of the age of piracy."

"So we're here to grab some new weaklings for the crew, and teach me a fucking history lesson?" Hidan spat off the side. "Why did I save you from that shipwreck again?"

Hawkins smiled. "The shadow of death wasn't visible for me that day." He said simply, rowing the boat up to the dock. "It may have something to do with you not knowing a thing about navigation, the world at large, or the basics of human interaction beyond sarcasm and pre-battle banter though."

Hidan laughed and gave his captain the finger. "At least you didn't say it was because we were friends, or out of loyalty. I told you my life story, after all. Me and loyalty don't really go hand in hand."

"On the contrary, Hidan. You are more than loyal to your religious beliefs. In fact, I think that's why we find ourselves shorthanded."

"Hey, the few that survived the shipwreck wanted to kill us and take the lifeboat to join some other crew, remember?" Hidan asked, twisting the handle of his scythe so the blades were hidden in the shaft. "In fact, you warned the pricks not to try it. What were the chances of their survival again?"

"Zero, Hidan. The exact opposite of what your chances of death were." Hawkins rested his hand on the pommel of his sword as they mounted the stairs away from the docks and towards the town. "Now, follow me to the execution block. I daresay you'll appreciate seeing the spot where the king of pirates died."

Hidan smiled, and snapped a sarcastic salute before he began walking after his captain, the shaft of his scythe performing its disguised role as a cane admirably. His time on the sea with Basil Hawkins had certainly necessitated some changes, both in his wardrobe and his tools. And, even if he didn't admit it to himself, Hawkins knew Hidan was no longer the murderous psychopath he'd been in his past life. _Well, not as _much _of a murderous psychopath. _Hawkins amended. Hidan's Akatsuki robe and sandals had been discarded. He now wore black boots, similar to his captain's, baggy pants with rows of thick metal stakes, actually his telescoping pikes, stuck in loops of cloth within arm's reach, and a black vest with the symbol for Jashin drawn in red on the back. He still wore his medallion, but felt the vest kept the symbol visible from a distance. He had been disgusted that the world he'd emerged in had no knowledge of Jashin, and had decided to make the symbol widely-known, if nothing else. His trusty scythe had been the subject of various modifications, not least of which was the ability to hide the blades in the shaft.

"Hey Hawkins, this place is some kind of kick-off spot for the Grand Line, right?" Hidan asked after a few minutes of walking.

"Correct, Hidan. Why do you ask?" Hawkins asked without stopping.

"I just figured we might as well grab some supplies while we're here. I know you're in love with that sword of yours, but maybe somebody here has something better."

Hawkins paused, grip tightening around the pommel of the blade in question. "I'm as likely to give up my father's sword as you are to get rid of that ridiculous scythe."

Hidan smirked. He'd known his captain's answer in advance, but he just couldn't resist the barb. Basil Hawkins despised jokes, but he put up with worse from Hidan, who could be just as serious as the stoic captain. "In other words, the chance of that is zero." Hidan said, mimicking Hawkins' tone surprisingly well. He fished a pack of cigarettes out of one of the inner pockets of his vest, a tarnished silver lighter following suit. He lit one of them with a casual flick of the lighter, putting both items back where they'd come.

"Tell me again why you insist on that filthy habit." Hawkins said blandly.

"For the thousandth time, they don't cause me any harm like they would to normal people, it gives me something to do in public that isn't killing all the loud, annoying people around us…" He paused. "Actually, if what they say about second-hand smoke is true, I guess I'm still doing that." He cackled with laughter. "And it's my little salute to the bastard that sent me here. Imagine if he hadn't? I'd be back in my world, bored off my ass. Here at least is much more entertaining than palling around with Akatsuki."

"We both know you'd have gotten bored and killed them all by now." Hawkins said simply, rounding the corner before stopping suddenly.

"Hey, even _I _wasn't crazy enough to take all of them on at once." Hidan said, stopping as well and staring at the giant execution stand. He whistled appreciatively. "So that's where Roger gave the world the finger and set all you crazy bastards sailing?"

"You're eloquent as always, Hidan. However, you're correct. That is where the Pirate King Gold Roger met his end and started the legend of One Piece." Hawkins turned to smile at his first mate. "So…what do you think?"

Hidan stared for a few seconds before stamping out his cigarette. "I think…I want to pray up there."

Hawkins sighed and began to walk away. "Fine. I'm going to see about finding us a ship and a crew."

"Make sure they aren't cowards this time!" Hidan called after him, walking towards the execution stand. A crowd of Marines burst through the crowd right at that moment, leveling guns at Hawkins and Hidan.

"Don't move, Basil Hawkins! You're under arrest for Piracy!" Their leader, a lieutenant barked.

Hawkins and Hidan exchanged a glance as the crowd around them backed up to watch the events. "It would appear I've made a name for myself." Hawkins observed, pulling out his cards.

"It probably has something to do with that island we sacked. All that fucking gold at the bottom of the sea, but you're still worth Forty Million Beli." Hidan said, lighting another cigarette.

"You managed to save the real prize though." Hawkins said simply, glancing at his cards before putting them away. "Try not to make too big a scene, Hidan." He said, walking away to finish his stated business.

"Aye aye, Captain." Hidan said with a smirk, twisting the handle of his scythe and attaching the cable.

"You mean to fight? Are you working with Hawkins?" The lieutenant demanded.

"Marine intelligence is apparently _way _overrated, if that's the most you fuckers know." Hidan said simply, angling himself into a low stance with his scythe held overhead.

"Enough of his foolishness! Fire and we'll head after Hawkins!" The nameless lieutenant ordered, dropping his arm. His unit obeyed; each man opening fire on Hidan, who merely stood and took each blow passively.

When the barrage had ceased, Hidan grinned and drew the symbol of Jashin with his blood. Lunging forward, he swung his scythe in a cascade of slashes, cutting through the ranks of Marines towards the lieutenant. He impressed Hidan by not panicking, only drawing his cutlass and preparing to defend. "Ballsy little bastard, aren't you?" Hidan asked conversationally as his scythe drew a scratch across the lieutenant's face. With an insane grin, Hidan jerked the large weapon back, catching the few droplets of blood on his tongue and the scythe in his hand before heading back towards the symbol.

"Retreating after getting a blow in are you? I'm not intimidated by you just because you're a Logia user!" The lieutenant shouted, ordering his surviving men to reload as he pulled something from behind his coat.

_A pair of handcuffs? Is he still thinking about arresting me? _Hidan wondered idly, eyes widening as one of the other Marines threw down a smoke bomb. _Ok, so they must be thinking my reflexes aren't good enough to turn to whatever element they think I am faster than a bullet can strike. _He thought, pausing just out of the symbol. The handcuffs he'd seen earlier came whizzing through the smoke, latching onto his hand and scythe smartly from the force of the impact. "What the fuck is the point of attaching me to my weapon even more securely?" He asked with a laugh and a shake of his head, spitting his cigarette contemptuously to the ground.

"Those handcuffs are made of Seastone! It'll keep you from using that cursed ability of yours to avoid our shots! Try surviving our barrage now!" The lieutenant shouted as the smoke cleared.

Hidan shook his head again, stepping into the symbol and feeling the curse take hold. "Ready when you are, Lieutenant Shithead." Hidan said, grinning as the Marines gasped at his skeletal new look. It was his second favorite part of the curse, the macabre appearance it offered. As for the first part…

"Open fire!" The lieutenant shouted, unaware they were his last words.

**xoxoxoxoxox**

Hawkins frowned as he heard the crack of gun fire back behind him. "And I told him not to make a scene." He said, shaking his head before turning back to the robed man seated before him. "So, as I was saying, I'm putting together a crew to sail the seas and commit piracy. Can I count you in, Mr.…?"

"Father, if you please, Mr. Hawkins. Father Finn. I'd be delighted to sail with you and your crew. Or am I the first member you've enlisted?" Finn asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, you aren't. My first mate should be along directly, I believe all the fanfare we're hearing is from him."

Finn grinned at that. His grin, Hawkins noted, would not look out of place on Hidan. "Is he a good fighter, your man?" Finn asked, fingers beginning to drum on the table.

Hawkins sighed, pulling out his cards for the second time that day. "Before I answer that, I have a few questions for you, Father. My belief in fate was what led me to talk to you today. My first mate's belief in wanton carnage is why he's out there fighting the Marines for a chance to mutilate himself where Gold Roger died." Hawkins flipped out a card, raising an eyebrow at what appeared. "Judgment. Tell me, Father Finn…what do _you _believe in?"

**xoxoxoxoxox**

Hidan sat atop the execution scaffold smoking yet another cigarette in contemplation. The view was truly spectacular from up here. Down below were the slaughtered remains of the Marine unit that had attacked him, except for one man. That man lay skewered behind Hidan on the scaffolding in the center of Jashin's symbol. "When I asked that coward if he wanted to pray before I finished him, I don't think that's what he thought I meant." Hidan said to himself softly, chuckling. Off in the distance he could see a large ship with the Marines' symbol on its sails. "Time to be going, I believe." He said, leaping off the scaffold and going to fetch his captain.

He didn't have to walk far, as Hawkins rounded a corner with a robed man following behind him. Hidan arched an eyebrow. "Hidan, allow me to introduce our new crewmember." Hawkins said, gesturing to the robed man.

"Father Finn, sir, happy to be aboard." The man said, pushing back his hood and shaking out his mane of silvery-black hair. He looked past Hidan at the scene of the slaughter and whistled appreciatively. "The captain mentioned you were a fighter, but a whole unit by yourself…" His eyes took on a glint that Hidan knew well. "Seems my path led me to the right crew after all."

Hidan smiled, twisting his scythe back into "safety". "Oh, I like him." He lifted his scythe up onto his shoulders, under his arms. "Now then, captain, unless you feel like letting me and our new friend here take on a battleship, I believe it's time we be going."

Hawkins flicked his wrist, looking at the card that appeared there. "It would appear that you've worn out our welcome. How far out is the ship?"

"It'll be here in an hour or so." Hidan said. "Since it's unlikely the new blood is as injury-resistant as the two of us, I'd say we should head back to the North Blue and get a real fucking ship and a crew to sail her."

Finn raised an eyebrow. "Injury-resistant?" He asked, fingers beginning to twitch at his sides.

"It can wait till another time, Father." Hawkins said simply, gesturing down the street. "Our boat, such as it is, is this way."

"Lead the way, captain." Finn said, throwing his hood back up.

**xoxoxoxoxox**

With Hidan and Hawkins both rowing along with a compliant wind, they quickly made it to an island far enough away that they felt comfortable to stop for a proper introduction. Finn sat comfortably on the ground, hood back and basking in a warm breeze. Hidan stood off a bit of a ways, regarding the man casually while Hawkins sat reading his cards.

"So Mr. Hidan, earlier you mentioned being 'injury resistant'. If I might inquire what you meant by that?" Finn asked after a few seconds.

Hidan shouldered his scythe and lit a cigarette. "Well Father Finn…do you mind if I call you Finn?" Hidan asked suddenly, a look of mild annoyance on his face. Finn nodded and swept his arm in front of him.

"By all means, Mr. Hidan. You were saying?"

"I was going to ask what it was you had to offer the crew. I'm assuming you went over all this shit with the captain, but it makes the explanation easier if there's a practical demonstration as well."

Finn cocked his head, glancing at the captain. Hawkins nodded, spreading his cards before him and drumming his fingers as he considered. Finn grinned, flicking his arm downward and catching a strange-looking pistol, leveling it at Hidan's head. "You're positive I can do this?" Finn asked, sadistic smile still present.

"By all means." Hidan said, grinning in the same way, even as a hail of bullets tore into his face. His head fell back theatrically, waiting for the wounds to heal before righting himself. "That's an interesting weapon you have there, Father. Hardly a flintlock, is it?"

Finn stared for a second before regarding his pistol. "It's my own design, actually. Clockwork. Holds six times the shots a flintlock does, and fires much faster. Lacks a bit in damage, but when they fly as often as I can make them, it's hardly a factor."

Hidan let out a low whistle, then spat into his hand. Holding up the slug, he cocked an eyebrow at Finn. "Custom ammunition too?" He asked.

Finn smiled, clearly impressed. "You know a lot about weapons, Mr. Hidan."

"Comes from fishing them out of me for so long." Hidan said, sliding a finger across Finn's shot, showing the wound to Finn.

"Yes, the grooves on the ball give it something of a…buzzsaw effect."

"Doesn't that interfere with the range you can fire?" Hidan asked, looking at the dented ball contemplatively.

"Well…yes. But that's what cannon are for, right?" Finn asked with a grin. "But enough about my little toy…just how do you do that marvelous trick of yours? I know you aren't a Logia user, because you bleed when bullets go through you."

Hidan grinned as well. "Well, that's a long fucking story. Let me answer your question with a question. I'm assuming 'Father' isn't your real first name?" Finn nodded indulgently, motioning for him to continue. "Then you must be a religious man. I won't ask who or what you worship, since I doubt it matters. I worship the true god – Lord Jashin!"

Finn stared silently, returning his pistol to the holster on his forearm. "And what is 'Lord Jashin' a god of, pray tell?"

Hidan cocked his head to the side. "That was a pun. Are you mocking me, you little bastard?"

Hawkins looked up sharply. "I should advise you, Father Finn: Hidan is the only person I tolerate to make jokes, and that's only because I haven't figured out a way to give him a way of remembering it."

Finn looked between them, then put his hands up. "It wasn't intentional, I assure you. Just a figure of speech."

Hidan regarded him coolly for a moment before continuing. "Anyway, Lord Jashin is God of carnage and destruction, and it is by His mastery that I am an immortal. Where I come from, he's what people commonly think of as the Devil." Hidan grinned. "So I got my powers from the devil same as Hawkins, I just didn't have to eat anything and can still swim."

Finn scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I wonder what would happen if you were to eat a Devil Fruit then, in that case. Legend has it that if you eat two, the devils in the fruit rebel and tear you apart. If your abilities come from something similar, it's possible the same would happen to you. Interesting…but I have no idea how we'd test it without just doing it." He looked up, cheeks reddening as Hidan and Hawkins stared at him with blank expressions. "Ah…well…science is something of a hobby of mine. It's actually why I'm not allowed in my church anymore…" He paused. "But no more of that. I'm assuming that power must have carried a price, even if you didn't have to give up your ability to swim."

Hidan nodded. "There's an energy where I come from, everybody has it, though only a few people can use it. We call it chakra, and it's really fucking useful. Lets us do a few basic tricks that most people consider a joke, and some amazing shit with the five main elements. In order to gain the power Lord Jashin offered, I had to sacrifice my ability to do all but the most basic of tricks." He grinned. "And I have to keep killing people, but that's hardly a price for a guy like me."

Finn smiled as well. "I won't convert, but I must say Mr. Hidan…this faith of yours is definitely one of the better ones I've encountered." He turned to Hawkins. "And you, captain? From the comments made earlier, I understand you have a similar ability?"

Hawkins kept his expression blank. "Reload your pistol and I'll show you, Father Finn."

**xoxoxEND OF CHAPTERxoxox**


	3. Chapter 2: Mystic and Murderer

**A/N: **I apologize for my delay in updating. I've been busy helping my brother write his debut story. (Which, by the way, will be uploaded shortly, once we've finished chapter two.) As for the story you're reading right now, the only complaint I seem to be getting is that my chapters aren't long enough. Well, I can't really help it. The muse only gives as much as it gives, and trying to force more out of her is a recipe for bad writing. But I thank those of you who have taken the time to review, regardless. We're now one year before Luffy sets sail.

**rA/Nt: **What the hell was I thinking, picking a crew with absolutely no back-story? Making up abilities and names and so on from the one scene they've all appeared in is quite difficult.

**Disclaimer: **I'm still not a wealthy Japanese artist/writer, so I still don't own _One Piece _or _Naruto_.

**xoxoxoxoxox**

Hidan and Finn sat across from each other, an open chest on the table between them, both deep in thought. "You've had this for almost a year, and just aren't sure whether you want to eat it or not?" Finn asked, staring at the red, swirl-covered fruit lying in the chest.

"I'm fucking worried about it, aren't I? It was just a matter of not knowing what the damned thing does at first, but then you had to go and say that shit about it maybe tearing me apart." Hidan lit a cigarette, exhaling thankfully before continuing. "I've been torn apart before, Finn. I don't fucking like it. Being immortal sounds fun, until you consider what it's like to not be able to move."

Finn smiled and began polishing his revolver, a nervous tic of his that Hidan had grown to despise. "But your old partner was always there to put you back together again, right? It would take me longer, but I'm sure I could sew you up eventually."

Hidan growled and grabbed Finn by the collar of his shirt. "You ever been buried alive, Finn? Ever wonder what that'd be like to go through? Take it from me, it fucking sucks. Keep making fun of me, and you'll find out just how much."

Hawkins appeared on the ladder up to the ship's deck, surveying the scene before speaking. "Still wondering about that fruit, Hidan? Which worry is it this time?" He asked, sitting cross-legged at another end of the table.

"Don't you fucking start on me too Captain. It's both of them! What if eating the damned thing tears me apart? What if it doesn't, and I get a shit power?"

Hawkins narrowed his eyes. "I told you already, Hidan. There are no useless Devil Fruit. All it depends on is the imagination of the user. So cast that thought from your mind." He reached into his shirt, pulling out a map. "Decide on the fruit later. Business first. According to our ferryman we are nearing Meru, which my cards have assured me holds something beneficial to our crew."

"I still wish your cards could just tell me what this fucking fruit does." Hidan muttered as he snapped the small chest closed and stashed it in his pants pocket. "So we're going to meet that mystic we've been hearing about? They say he's not much of a fighter."

"There are more useful things in the world than just brute strength, Mr. Hidan." Finn said, reloading his revolver and closing it with a flick of his wrist, tracing a finger across the script on the barrel before slipping it into its forearm holster.

Hidan chuckled. "Good thing, or I'd have pitched _you_ over the side a long time ago."

Finn grinned. "I wasn't referring to myself, by any means. I was just saying our ship, once it's completed, would benefit from a navigator of skill."

Hidan smiled. "Especially since we haven't been able to hold onto a ship for more than a few months. How many fucking rocks are there in the North Blue, anyway?"

"Not to mention the fact that I couldn't keep my sanity intact if my entire crew was full of people like you two. A level-headed addition would give me someone to talk to while you practice inventive ways of threatening one another." Hawkins added, ignoring Hidan.

Hidan shook his head and extinguished his cigarette. "For all your complaints about us, Captain, you know that if it weren't for us, you'd have nowhere near the bounty you do now. 100 million belli is nothing to complain about after only a year of sailing."

Hawkins sighed. "Meanwhile, you've earned 60 million just for being a butcher in all of our campaigns."

Hidan snorted contemptuously. "Yeah, well. You've got a better title than I do. 'Death's Scythe' Hidan." He spat off to the side. "Ludicrous."

Finn cleared his throat. "And I'm the 'Infinite Shooter', with a measly 30 million. I'd much rather be 'The Magician'."

Hidan paused at that, rubbing his chin. "I wonder who the Marine shithead that makes up the epithets is…and how closely guarded he is."

"I must admit confusion as to why I'm 'The Magician'. I really don't do any magic, unless reading the messages of the cards counts." Hawkins said.

"Yeah, why not something like 'The Death Dealer'? Remind me to look into it next time we come across a Marine ship. I'm going to curse the fucker."

An elderly man smoking a pipe clambered down the ladder. "Mr. Hawkins, we've reached your destination. Unfortunately, the side we've arrived at has a reputation for being unruly, and I can't spare the time to go around to land at the safe harbor. You're welcome to the use of one of our life boats, though."

Hawkins sighed. "That will be fine. My associates and I thank you for what help you were able to spare. Finn, pay the man. Hidan and I will be in the boat."

**xoxoxoxoxox**

Hawkins, Finn, and Hidan rowed towards Meru, an island dominated by a large mountain. For a moment, none of them said anything, simply staring at what seemed to be a floating mountain with a few villages built on it. Lighting a cigarette and looking away, Hidan summed it up.

"That's a big fucking mountain." He said simply, sitting back down to row.

Without further comment, the Hawkins' pirates docked and disembarked from the small lifeboat. Finn paused as they left the pier, turning around to stare at the boat. "Begging your pardon, captain…but will that boat hold four people?"

Hawkins stopped as well, mouth hanging open before rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I suppose it is up to fate to provide another means of transportation." He said after a time, upper lip twitching as Hidan howled with laughter.

"Want me to go back to the Merchant ship we hitched a ride on? Convince them to part with it?" Hidan asked, twirling the shaft of his scythe in his fingertips.

Finn put a hand over his eyes to block out the glare of the sun, staring out to sea. "They're already a few miles gone. I guess they really did fear this part of the island."

"Enough wasting time. Fate will deliver an alternative. Fan out; find out if anyone knows where Manjushri resides." Hawkins said with finality.

Finn nodded while Hidan snapped a rigid salute, his go-to response when Hawkins became a stern captain.

**xoxoxoxoxox**

After an hour of investigation, Finn returned to Hawkins to report. "Everyone in the village claims that Manjushri, who they call 'the calming one' incidentally, lives in a hut on the eastern side of the mountain, overlooking the village there."

Hidan came striding up, dragging a man behind him. Pushing the man roughly to the ground, he stepped on his chest. "Tell them what you told me." He said brusquely, pike to the man's throat.

"The calming one protects his village from Skanda once a month. Skanda's wrath is terrible. You must leave the village before he returns at nightfall, or else he will kill you." The man said with a bored tone, as though a pike to the throat was as nonthreatening as a tip of the hat.

Hidan looked to Finn and Hawkins with a grin. "Sounds like fun, doesn't it? I say we stay and meet him."

Hawkins pulled out his cards and shuffled them with one hand before drawing the topmost card. "_You _can stay and meet him. Finn and I will go around the mountain to meet with Manjushri."

Hidan's grin stretched even wider. "And _that's _why I'm still a part of the crew, Captain. You hardly ever let me off the leash, but when you do…" He said, laughing and clapping his hands. "It's _always _at the promise of fun."

Hawkins walked towards the mountain, shaking his head and muttering to himself. Finn followed along, but not before shooting Hidan a look of jealousy. For his part, Hidan lit a cigarette and crouched beneath a tree, waiting for his fight.

He didn't have long to wait, as within the hour, a hulking man with a long ponytail and loose fitting robes came stomping through the village. When a villager left a building and stepped into his path, he roared and kicked him through the wall. Hidan let out a low whistle, making the man snap his head up and growl at the newcomer. "Invader! Why have you come to Skanda's island?" He demanded, dropping into a fighting stance.

"My captain came here to recruit us a navigator. I stayed here to see if you were interested in joining up too." Hidan said, leaning on the still-closed shaft of his scythe.

"Skanda, pledge loyalty to some off-islander? Skanda bows to no man!" He shouted, rushing forward to attack Hidan.

Hidan grinned and spat his cigarette into his face, making him trip to Hidan's feet, where his throat met the point of a pike. "I'm pissed to see that your wrath was exaggerated, Skanda." He said, stabbing downward.

The man laughed loudly, which surprised Hidan. People often didn't laugh when their vocal chords were destroyed. "I…am not Skanda." The man said, eyes rolling back as his smile stayed on his face.

"Shit." Hidan said, just before he was kicked up the mountain. By chance, he landed a few feet away from Hawkins and Finn, the latter of which looked amused at Hidan's predicament.

"I take it you met Skanda, then?" He asked, chuckling.

"Not…directly." Hidan allowed, prying himself from the mountainside and rolling his shoulders as his wounds knit closed. "Keep on with your mission, I'll be right back." He said, opening his scythe and running down the mountain with chakra-enhanced strides.

Hawkins stared down at the small village as clouds of dust began to kick up over the sides of the buildings. Dust and primal roars of fury, with a faint background noise of Hidan's raucous laughter. "That was…unexpected." He said finally, glancing at the crater his first mate had lain in until just recently.

"My brother has a knack for that." Said a soft voice a little further up the mountain. "I understand you're looking for me."

Hawkins and Finn whirled, Finn dropping his arm and catching his revolver, pointing it at the short, round man seated peacefully on the rock above them.

"Save your bullets, sir. Even if they were to hit me, they would do me no harm." Manjushri said, vanishing in a cyclone and reappearing next to them. "Tell me, why have you come?"

Hawkins reached out and lowered Finn's arm casually. "We had heard you were the greatest navigator in the North Blue. If you have the ability to command the winds, I could see how that would be true."

Manjushri smiled slightly, staring down into the village below and watching the buildings began to crash apart. "So you mean to take me away from here. I apologize, but I will not leave my people at the mercy of my insane brother."

Hawkins stared down as well, a thoughtful expression on his face. "And if my first mate kills him?" He asked casually.

"Then I will mourn my brother while the wind rips your man's flesh from his bones." Manjushri replied in the same soft voice.

"Ah." Hawkins said, turning towards Finn. "Finn, go down there and put a stop to their fight, would you? Leave Manjushri's brother alive."

"Aye, Captain." Finn said, smile breaking out on his face as he vanished in a blur.

Manjushri turned to regard Hawkins with an interested expression. "Either your man Finn is a master of diplomacy, or you have just sacrificed another to Skanda's wrath. He is not the type to start a fight and not finish it."

Hawkins laughed humorlessly. "Neither is my first mate. But he'll stop if he's ordered. Most likely. Finn will shoot him in his knees if he doesn't."

Manjushri cocked an eyebrow. "So you would cripple him to save his life?"

Hawkins opened his mouth to explain Hidan's…condition, but closed it and merely nodded. "He has saved my life more times than I care to count." He said, telling the truth. Pairing their abilities had rendered Hawkins almost as immortal as Hidan.

Manjushri seemed to consider that, and glanced in mild surprise down at the village when, after a few cracks of gunfire, all noise stopped. "What is your name Captain?" He asked finally.

"Hawkins. Basil Hawkins, captain of the Hawkins Pirates. You have already met our marksman, Father Finn. If you will walk with me down there, I will introduce you to Hidan."

The fat mystic seemed to see Hawkins in a new light. "You're so sure there is something left of him." He observed, beginning to waver as he turned to air. "I must return to my village to begin packing my supplies. I will meet you here in two hours." As he dissipated, his voice sounded one last time. "Make the offer to my brother. If he accepts, then I am your navigator."

**XoXoXoXoXoX At the same time XoXoXoXoXoX**

As Hidan went running down the mountain, he finally caught sight of Skanda. The man looked very much like the man Hidan had killed not seconds before, if only a little more muscular. Same long braided ponytail, same loose-fitting robes. As Hidan approached, he removed the shirt of his outfit, revealing his muscular physique. Strapped to his back were six curved swords, arranged in a circle of death that looked not unlike the steering wheel of a ship. Just before Hidan brought his scythe down to collide with him, Skanda twisted to the side, catching one of the blades as it slid from its sheath. In the same motion, he drew the sword directly across from it and brought them together in a pincer motion. Hidan chuckled as the blades tore through him, stopping against his collarbone and ribs. With a twisting motion and a grunt, Hidan tore the swords from Skanda's grasp and flung them away.

Skanda merely stared at Hidan as his wounds knit closed, drawing two more of his swords with a look of patience. "You are a fruit user as well?" He asked, charging forward and swinging at Hidan again.

"None of your fucking business." Hidan said with a grin as he dodged the blow. The strength from it was sufficient to crack the earth and send a cloud of dust billowing up around the battlefield, earning more laughter from Hidan.

"Skanda is impressed by your speed, invader. Tell him your name." He demanded, kicking Hidan into a building as he retrieved his fallen blades.

"Hidan. Why the hell do you talk in such an annoying way?" Hidan responded, dusting himself off.

"It's a side effect of Skanda's ability." The big man explained, beginning to juggle his swords.

_Ability? Ah, shit. I have a feeling this is about to get complicated. _Hidan thought, parrying a slash from one of the juggled swords with his scythes. "Well then Skanda, why don't you show me your thrice damned ability?"

"As you wish." Skanda said, catching all six swords in his six hands. His torso had elongated to accommodate the new arms, and he now towered over Hidan even more. Positioning his arms in a sinister stance that brought all six scimitars into what looked like a bladed maw of some fictional beast.

_Oh, damn it, now he can use all six at once? Good thing I can't get killed. _Hidan thought, dodging and parrying as many strikes as possible. "I must admit, Skanda. That _is _one of the better tricks I've seen in my life. And trust me, that means a lot coming from someone from where I'm from."

Skanda laughed before charging forward, spinning all his swords in a whirlwind of razors. "You have only seen the beginning of Skanda's power!" He cried, growling as Hidan parried and dodged all his strikes while laughing hysterically. Suddenly, the steady crack of gunfire knocked all of Skanda's swords from his grasp.

"Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Hidan. Captain's orders though." Finn called from high up on the mountain, lowering his revolver and reloading it.

"Damn it all, Finn! This shit was just getting interesting!" Hidan shouted, closing his scythe all the same.

"Who is this, that dares interrupt Skanda's legendary fight?" Skanda bellowed, stooping to pick up his swords. He flinched as another lightning fast volley from Finn's revolver scattered the blades. "Hidan! Is this coward with you?"

Finn's face clouded over under his hood. "What did this braggart just call me?" He asked, spinning his revolver dangerously.

"Skanda called you a coward, tiny man! Only the meek cower behind gunfire from a distance! Skanda will slaughter you now!" Skanda shouted, picking up two of his swords and returning to normal.

"Know this, Skanda the Wrathful! My weapon is called _Theodicy_! It is NOT a tool of a coward!" Finn called out, putting two bullets into Skanda's chest, two in his legs, and drawing scratches across his face.

Skanda dropped, blood flowing from his wounds, a smile on his face. "Skanda…apologizes for his rudeness." He said, falling over with his eyes still open.

Finn vanished into a blur, landing next to him. "Oh my. I was ordered to keep him alive." He said, face one of shock, all traces of anger gone.

Skanda's corpse twitched a few times before two arms burst from his chest, followed by another chest, with a head attached to it. The face was thoughtful, and unmistakably Skanda's. Prying himself free from his own body, he stood up and checked himself over. "You almost killed Skanda. Tell him your name, fast marksman."

Finn backed away, shock replaced by awe. "That's…quite the ability." He muttered.

Hidan, who had been lighting a cigarette, threw back his head and laughed. "When you said I was only seeing a taste of what you can do, I guess you weren't kidding!" He said, laughing loudly. He walked towards Finn, striking him amiably on the chest. "This is Father Finn. If you were impressed by how fast I can move, you should see him when he gets serious. I next to guarantee he's the fastest man in the world."

Skanda scratched his chin thoughtfully, sheathing his scattered swords. "Father Finn…and Hidan." He muttered, eyes losing some of their intensity suddenly as he grinned. "Skanda names you friends! Come and sit, and tell Skanda why you have come to his island!" He said, sitting on top of his own corpse casually, as though there were nothing out of the ordinary in that. Hidan and Finn shrugged, sitting across from him and explaining their search for Manjushri, who Hidan was amazed to discover was Skanda's brother. "But once you realized Skanda was here, your captain immediately sent Hidan to recruit him as well?" Skanda predicted, nodding knowingly.

"Actually, no. I just thought you sounded like a lot of fun to fight." Hidan said with a grin. Skanda looked momentarily hurt, but then smiled as well.

"Well, friends Finn and Hidan. Skanda knows his brother. He won't join your crew unless Skanda does too." Skanda said, smiling wider.

"Which brings me up quite nicely." Hawkins said, walking towards them.

"Stranger! Have you come to fight Skanda as well?" Skanda asked, leaping off of his "seat" and reaching for one of his swords. Hidan and Finn moved faster than him however, and had a pike and gun on him before he could draw.

"My apologies, friend Skanda. But that is our captain you wish to harm." Finn said, face hidden again.

"And I may not be the most loyal son of a bitch sailing the seas, but I don't tolerate people fucking with the captain." Hidan finished, his voice a growl.

"Let him pass, you two." Hawkins said, putting his cards away as he grew in size. He had only recently discovered the full transformation offered by his Devil Fruit, and found that, while it had quite a few drawbacks, his partnership with Hidan had eliminated the worst of them. The greatest boon of it was the shock value it presented, as well as the much augmented strength. "My Gōma No Sō will live up to its name." He said, his nail-like fingers clinking against each other as he assumed his full height. "Skanda! If I defeat you, you will join our crew, and serve along with your brother. Do we have an agreement?"

Skanda grinned evilly, four extra arms springing from his body as he drew all six of his swords. "Skanda agrees with your demands! Tell him your name, so you may fight as his equal!"

Hidan and Finn watched on in excitement. It was so rare to get to watch the captain fight by himself, after all. Whenever his cards told him he must fight alone, he left them on the ship. "I am Captain Basil Hawkins of the Hawkins pirates!" He cried, showing rare emotion. Hidan braced himself, as he always did when Hawkins fought by himself. It was one thing to experience life-ending injuries when he was in combat, but quite another to feel them when watching someone else experience them. He supposed it was how the victims of his curse felt.

After the opening strikes, wherein Skanda received some deep gouges from Hawkins' claws and Hidan felt a blade enter his chest, both fighters stood on opposite sides of their makeshift arena, backs to each other. Hawkins turned first, changing back to normal and drawing his sword in a flash. Skanda dodged, splitting into three copies of his original form, revealing the root of his abilities. As Hidan began to shake from the number of blows raining down on Hawkins, Finn began to nervously polish his revolver. "So this is what a battle between fruit users looks like." Hidan observed as Hawkins caught onto Skanda's technique and his shaking stopped. "And neither of them are even Logia."

Finn smiled slightly, not taking his eyes off the fight. "The elemental Rock-Paper-Scissors of one of _those _fights is really interesting to witness." He said, stopping to let out a small cheer as Hawkins eviscerated one of the copies of Skanda.

"You know, I've had a lot of experience fighting clones, and I have to say…the captain's got a gift for it." Hidan said, watching the fight with interest and thinking back to the old days in the Elemental Nations.

"Quite." Manjushri said from his position to Hidan's left.

"What the fuck?" Hidan shouted, jumping with fright. "Who's the fat little monkey?" He demanded, earning a glance from Skanda that cost him another clone.

"I am Manjushri. You must be Hidan." Manjushri said, turning to air to avoid a thrown sword from Skanda. "Manners, brother."

"You scared the shit out of me, man." Hidan said, lighting a cigarette.

Manjushri scowled. "Please do not call me Man."

Hidan looked confused for a second before laughing. "Oh, but it's such a handy abbreviation, don't you think?" He asked, frowning when a breeze blew through and cut the tip off of his cigarette.

"Not to interrupt your bickering with our new navigator, but my fight has ended." Hawkins said, standing over Skanda with his blade to his throat.

"Skanda will honor his agreement with you…captain." Skanda said between gasps for air.

"This is all excellent news, but now we have a boat that's only big enough for three and needs to fit five." Hidan pointed out, relighting his cigarette with a wary glance at Manjushri.

"If transportation is what you require, I can accommodate you." Manjushri said, waving his hand toward the sea, where a mid-sized sailboat was propelled along by a light breeze. "I trust this will suit us until we acquire a larger vessel?"

Hawkins nodded, a pleased smile on his face. "As I said, gentlemen. Fate provided a way for us to return home." He said, sheathing his sword and walking towards the boat. The rest of the crew followed after, except for Hidan, who remained behind for a few moments.

_Now I've seen what kind of things a Devil Fruit offers with my own eyes. Even more than that, seeing Skanda using clones…I think I'm ready to put the Elemental Nations behind me. I've got everything from them I need, my god and my immortality. No more cowardice! It's time to accept this world as mine. _"It's time!" He shouted, earning surprised looks from everyone but Hawkins, who merely smiled. "No more acting like a fucking pussy! Time to embrace this world, and all its potential!" Holding his Devil Fruit high into the air with one hand and his opened scythe in the other, he wished it had been storming. A nice bolt of dramatic lightning would have been appropriate. With one last shrug, he took a large bite out of the red fruit.

The crew of the Hawkins pirates looked on expectantly as Hidan stayed hunched over for a few seconds. "Well…how do you feel?" Finn asked finally.

Hidan stood up straight with a disgusted expression on his face. "Like I just ate a bucket of shit! Why are these things so ungodly terrible?" He bellowed, staring down at his body and flexing a fist. After looking himself over for a few minutes, he turned to the three fruit-users of the crew. "How the hell do I know what kind of power I have?"

"I know how to tell if you're Logia." Finn said with a sinister smile, drawing his revolver and firing at Hidan's head. The cloud of blood that flew from the exit wound caused him to frown. "Hurmph. I guess you're not an element." He said with a laugh.

Hidan lowered his head, which had been knocked by the force of the bullet. The blood from the wound flowed back up to the hole, which sealed itself easily. "That…was unusual." He observed, staring at his hands. His forearm contracted suddenly, and his hand turned into blood and sloughed off. "I'm fucking melting, aren't I?" He asked before dissolving into a large puddle of blood.

"Hidan!" Hawkins shouted, rushing forward. Lately he had grown lax, not even bothering to compute Hidan's chances of dying if he followed certain conditions. If that complacency had cost him his first mate…

"Not to sound like a broken fucking record, but that was unusual too." The puddle said, beginning to move. It reformed quickly into Hidan, who patted himself down appreciatively before wheezing out a sigh of relief. "I'll test out the combat function of being sentient blood later. Let's get the hell off of this mountain." He said, walking shakily to the boat.

"So Hidan's a Logia user who can turn into blood? How much more immortal can he get?" Finn asked nobody in particular, earning a strange look from Manjushri.

"Immortal?" He asked politely, listening to Finn as he explained on the way to the boat.

**XoXoX End of Chapter XoXoX**

**Endnote: **Well, that's that. Hidan finally turned into a puddle of blood. I mean…ate his devil fruit. Leave me a little review telling me what you thought of this chapter, because I'm not sure how much I like it.


	4. Chapter 3: Crewmute and Catgirl

**A/N: **Here we go. The final recruiting chapter of the Hawkins' Pirates adventure. I really have to apologize for how long it's been… I was distracted by betaing for my brother, college, and assorted other pitiful excuses.

As far as the timeline goes, the manga isn't too clear how long building a ship takes, but we'll presume not being a cyborg as awesome as Franky means you can't build a ship in a week or however long, and the Hawkins Pirates have been laying low for a year while their galleon gets built. Which means while this chapter is taking place, Luffy is passing out right as a whirlpool opens up in front of him.

By the way, I didn't realize I'd named Hawkins' ship after the man who set me on this challenge until after I'd finished writing this chapter. It seemed fitting though, so I left it in.

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own _Naruto _or _One Piece_, and I still don't make a cent off of this.

**XoXoXoXoXoX**

Standing on a balcony outside his ancestral home Basil Hawkins stared out to sea at the nearly-completed vessel of the Hawkins Pirates, _Thanatos_. It had cost him a lot of gold, but he had had a great deal of that even _before _becoming a pirate. Hawkins' father had been lord of the island, putting him among the ranks of nobility. But that life had bored Hawkins to no end, and so, with the death of his father, he had set out to sea to plumb the depths of the world. And through that search, he had gained the ability to read the future. He had earned the loyalty of a trio of pseudo-immortals, and could even almost be classified among their number.

"Captain!" Hidan shouted, bursting into the room without knocking and striding over to the balcony.

_Speak of the devil. _Hawkins thought, turning to see what his first mate required. "What is it Hidan?"

"Oh, nothing much. In fact, I can barely remember why I came in here. Oh…wait, yes I can." Hidan said. "I'm fucking bored! All there is to do on this island is listen to the villagers talk about how great your family is and wait for our ship to be finished."

Hawkins gestured to a table inside, where his cards were arranged. "The ship will be completed in three days. Why don't you and Skanda pick another fight with each other? That ought to last at least til then."

"You know it's against my religion to pick a fight I don't intend to finish with bloodshed. I'm ready for conquest here, not blasphemy!"

Hawkins put a hand over his face in exasperation. "Once _Thanatos _is finished, we'll head out and do some proper pirating, I give you my word."

Hidan sighed, shimmering slightly as he began to turn into his element. "I think I'll go annoy Finn for a while, see if that alleviates my boredom."

Hawkins looked up from his cards, which he had been dealing out as Hidan complained. "You have my permission to attack the ship that will appear in two hours."

Hidan's face broke into a grin. "What kind of ship is it?" He asked, leaning over Hawkins' shoulder to read the cards himself.

Hawkins cocked an eyebrow. "Does it matter?" He asked rhetorically.

"Nope. By your leave, Captain." Hidan said, leaping over the balcony and turning to his liquid state. When he landed, he bounced off towards Finn's location as tendrils of blood.

Hawkins watched the gory trail leave, marveling again at Hidan's morbid form of transportation. He had heard that Logia users typically utilized their elements as speedy means of transportation, but couldn't imagine any being as disturbing as watching a blood trail bound down the road. He turned back to the cards and mused over the other message they gave. "What could give Hidan a 40% chance of death?" He wondered aloud.

**XoXoXoXoXoX**

Finn had set up a work bench near the carpenters working on the _Thanatos_, working on the cannon that were to be added upon completion. Given the man's natural speed, he was able to do a lot of work in a short amount of time. He had already designed and rejected over six different prototypes of ammunition. Skanda was working among the shipwrights, his ability to clone himself helping with some of the heavy lifting. Finn stood facing the ocean, checking the barrel of _Theodicy_ as he cleaned the revolver.

"Father Finn, it's friend Hidan!" Skanda shouted with his usual barking laugh. Finn turned expectantly, just in time to see a pillar of blood land as a crouching Hidan.

"News from the Cap'n, shitheads!" He shouted, covering his eyes and scanning the ocean expectantly.

"And what's that, Hidan?" Finn asked, loading his now cleaned gun with an assortment of bullet types.

"The captain says there's a ship passing by in an hour or so. We've got permission to have some fun with it." Hidan said with a grin that was quickly mirrored by Finn and Skanda.

"Shall I bring them along faster?" Manjushri asked, appearing as usual in a small cyclone.

"Of course you should." Hidan answered.

Finn cocked an eyebrow at their navigator. "Explain this to me again. I thought you were the 'peaceful' type of monk."

Manjushri smiled softly. "I am. I never attack anyone that hasn't provoked me in some way. However, I know my brother will get bored of servitude quickly if I don't aid in his recreation. It does less harm for a ship full of people to die than an entire island."

Hidan and Finn both stared at the two brothers with shock on their faces. "I've done some pretty terrible things in my life, and even _I _think that's more than a little fucked up." Hidan said as he lit a cigarette.

Manjushri shrugged. "My rationalizations aren't to placate your bizarre form of honor, Hidan. Forgiveness is between me and my god."

One of the carpenters who had been eavesdropping paled and gulped audibly. "Excuse me boss, but now may be a good time to break for a while." He said to the foreman.

"What? We're almost done with the job! Why do you want to break so suddenly?" The foreman asked before he noticed their employer's men had arrived. "Ah. Another religious debate?" Seeing the carpenter's nod, he spun around. "Alright boys, that's enough for today! Get here early tomorrow and we'll try to get the ship done quickly!" He bellowed as he ran for cover.

Finn turned to see all the carpenters scrambling over each other to get away from the area and laughed. "It would seem production has been delayed yet again."

Hidan threw a pike at Manjushri, who went intangible and allowed it to pass through him without looking. "You just had to bring up your heathen god and scare them off, didn't you, you fat fuck?" He shouted.

"Please limit your insults to just me, Hidan." Manjushri said, still staring out at the sea.

"I'll insult whoever the fuck I want! Now what the hell are you staring at?" Hidan bellowed.

"The Marine vessel that's coming towards us." Finn said with a laugh as he vanished into a run.

Skanda dropped down from the scaffolding above, hefting a giant chain with a large hook on the end. "Shall Skanda reel them in?" He asked, lifting his weapon and acting like he was going to spin it around.

Hidan put a restraining hand on Skanda's arm, lowering the massive chain before it could destroy any part of the ship. "Don't do that. You'll break something and we'll be stuck on this damned island for even longer." He looked over to Finn's workshop, where the hooded priest was busying himself with a multi-barreled cannon. "What are you working on, Finn?"

"A new toy of mine. Haven't named her yet, but it should discourage the Marines from firing on the ship." Finn said simply, holding three lengths of fuse in each hand.

"It's coming towards the island at a leisurely enough pace." Manjushri pointed out, helping it along with a strong wind.

"Save your experiments for when we're out in the field, and let's just let them land before we slaughter them." Hidan said as he stretched his legs out in anticipation.

"Aye aye, sir." Finn said, firing the strange cannon anyway. With a deafening roar, six cannonballs launched towards the Marine vessel. Hidan opened his mouth to let loose a tirade of curses, but they died on his tongue as the cannonballs slowly shrank out of sight.

"I'm sure that wasn't supposed to happen, right Father?" Manjushri asked, looking at the shocked expression on the man's face.

Before he could answer however, the vessel crashed into the pier at a respectable clip, coming to a stop just to the left of the _Thanatos_. As the Hawkins pirates looked on expectantly, all save Manjushri drawing a weapon, absolutely no Marines appeared on deck. The pirates all turned to one other with confused expressions before Hidan cleared his throat. "I'll check it out, I suppose."

"If there're any survivors, don't kill them all!" Finn shouted after him. Hidan shimmered into his blood form, only his hand (and the rude gesture it was making) remaining normal as he leapt onto the ship.

Up on the cracked deck of the Marine vessel, Hidan whistled appreciatively at the sight of a headless corpse shackled to the wheel. "Impressive. But who the fuck did it?" He muttered to himself as he glanced around the ship. His search revealed quite a few more corpses, all missing limbs. "Whoever they are, they're quite the fighter." He said, a little louder as he headed below the deck, using his lighter to see in the darkened hatch. At the opposite end of the hold there was a crouching man, face hidden by a mask, covered in blood. The man was hidden in the corner, head in his hands as he tried to retreat further into the shadows. "What do we have here? A survivor?" Hidan wondered aloud. The masked face turned towards Hidan, head cocked to the side in question. "You the one who tore through the crew?" Hidan asked, lighting a cigarette as he stared at the man. He was short, and dressed in some kind of ceremonial garb. Not quite as skinny as Hawkins, and his arms were corded with wiry muscle. In response to Hidan's question, the man slowly nodded. "Well, I'm impressed. Not a lot of people can take out a battleship without getting wounded. I should know, I'm one of them." Hidan said with a laugh. The masked man continued to stare, slightly tensed as though he were going to be struck soon. "I'm not gonna pick a fight with you just for killing Marines. I'm a pirate, and that's kind of what we do. Well, besides loot and pillage and destroy property." Hidan laughed again, then paused and appraised the masked man. "Not a talker, are you?" Hidan remarked, sighing out smoke. The man hung his head slightly, a minute shake of the head his only response. "Ah, I bet you're a fucking mute. Mutes are a pain in the ass. If I turn around to get the rest of my shipmates, will you attack me?" The masked face cocked to the side again, and a long pause seemed to follow. Finally, the man shook his head. "Glad to hear it. There's a shortage of people with your talent for murder. I'd hate to have to kill you for being an asshole." Hidan said, walking back upstairs with a cackle.

**XoXoXoXoXoX**

While Hidan was introducing the Hawkins pirates to the mute man in the hold, their captain was looking around his home for his father's sword. He had taken a shower shortly after Hidan had left, and when he had returned, the sword had been missing. The stoic Hawkins was starting to become slightly flustered at his inability to find it. He had questioned all of the servants, none of whom had moved it. _Although my time away from the island has left me ignorant of who they are. _He thought again. Before his pirating days, Hawkins had prided himself on being able to tell exactly who each of his father's hired help had been. _The sword does not have any particular value to anyone but myself. Why would someone steal it?_ As Basil rounded another corner, he came across his sword. Walking forward slowly, wary in case of a trap, he noticed a small black cat cleaning itself in the sunlight near the sword. Confused, he knelt to retrieve the sword. Before he reached it, the cat had blurred into a black haired woman and snatched it from his grasp.

"It's nice to see you again Basil!" The woman said with a laugh at Hawkins' shocked expression.

"You actually ate the Neko Neko no mi. You know how I feel about jokes, Katrina." Hawkins said, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, I know. That's why I did it. That and it's so useful for my profession!" Katrina said with another chuckle.

"I hesitate to ask." Hawkins said dryly.

Katrina stuck her tongue out at him and drew the sword. "I was surprised to see you using this, Basil." She said, suddenly serious.

"Why wouldn't I? It's mine now, after all."

She opened her mouth to reply when Hidan's shouting voice carried through the entire mansion. "Cap'n! We found a stray that needs a home! Can I keep him?"

Hawkins turned to Katrina with a raised eyebrow, but she looked just as confused as he did. When the sound of footsteps drew near them, she turned quickly back into her cat form, allowing Hawkins to catch his sword. Sheathing the blade, he turned around to see his entire crew standing in the hallway, along with a short masked man that he didn't recognize. "This would be your stray, Hidan?" He asked, appraising the strange man before him.

"Yep, that's him. He won't make much noise, and he doesn't seem to eat much. So can I keep him? I'll take him outside and change his water and everything."

"Is there a reason you're belittling him so openly?" Hawkins asked, again forced to fight off a headache.

"Hidan seems to think that because the man is a mute, it's alright to treat him like a dog." Manjushri replied, noticing the small cat that had decided to start rubbing its back against Hawkins' leg. "It would appear that Hidan's not the only one who found a new pet, however."

Hawkins glanced down at Katrina and ground his teeth together. "Yes, she snuck in this afternoon after Hidan left."

Hidan laughed and knelt down to get a closer look. "Affectionate little bitch, isn't she? Bet she can't do a neat trick like The Shaman here though."

Hawkins stopped glaring at Katrina and looked back at 'The Shaman' in surprise. "Trick, Hidan?"

Hidan grinned and turned to the masked man. "Show the captain your trick and maybe he'll let you stay!" He said, extending an arm towards him. The Shaman shook his head, backing away from Hidan. "Oh, come on. I promise, he won't be any more scared of it than I was. Now tear my arm off!" The Shaman hesitated for a moment longer before raising his right hand and clasping Hidan's wrist. After a second, he tore Hidan's arm off at the shoulder as easily as a page from a book. Hidan laughed again, the removed limb melting to blood and flowing back to his shoulder. "Now turn the bone back to normal." He said, waiting for the Shaman to pat his arm with his _left _hand to move the arm again.

Hawkins felt his eyebrows rise once again. "That _is _a trick worth noting, which with this crew is certainly saying something. May I ask how it works?"

"You can, but he doesn't talk." Hidan said, chuckling yet again. With a hiss, he ducked the slash from Hawkins' sword and laughed again. "Calm down, captain, that's it for the jokes for today. Near as I can tell by feeling it, our friend here can shrink things. Probably a paramecia, but maybe not. Could just be a weird talent like Finn has, or your ability to see the future. Regardless, he shrinks the bone in a body part, and then tears off the fleshy left behinds. I've seen what it does to normal people, and let me tell you from experience: I could hardly do better."

Hawkins nodded, thinking of the usefulness of such an ability. "Very well, Hidan. Your new friend can stay. Was he on the ship that was passing by?"

"He _slaughtered _the ship that was passing by. No idea why the Marines had him locked up in the first place, but that bunch won't be doing it again. He brought Finn some presents, too."

"Indeed?" Hawkins asked, turning to his marksman.

The hooded sharpshooter grinned and held up a box he'd been carrying. "Seastone handcuffs, captain. I'm going to make bullets out of them, in case we run into some fruit users who prove annoying."

At Finn's words, Katrina quit clawing at Hawkins' pants and sat up straight. Hawkins actually cracked a smile at her behavior, making his crew gape in shock for a few seconds. "Hidan, earlier you asked if this cat could do a trick as interesting as your Shaman. Allow me to introduce you all to Katrina..." Hawkins said, standing back as the cat turned back into her human form.

Upon seeing her, Hidan groaned out loud. "Aw, come on! I bring home a nifty murderous mute, and the captain finds a cat girl? How come he has all the luck?" He demanded.

"…my little sister." Hawkins finished after a pause to stare at his First Mate.

"Your sister? What kind of creepy ideas are you trying to put into their heads Basil?" Katrina demanded, spinning to face him.

"Strictly speaking, you were raised by my parents, and that is how I see you." Hawkins said simply.

Katrina huffed and turned back to her "big brother's" crew. "We're not related, as you can probably tell by me having a pulse. And please, call me Kat." She said with a toothy grin.

Hidan laughed loudly. "Ok. I like her. Trade you, captain?" He asked, gesturing towards the Shaman.

"I'm not for trading, you fucking psycho!" She shouted.

Hidan easily ignored her, still holding his hands up next to the Shaman and grinning at Hawkins. "I would not give you my sister for the One Piece, Hidan, let alone our new crew member."

Hidan shrugged. "Well, at least I know she's not with you. She'll have to succumb to my charms eventually."

"You don't have any charm, Hidan. You can barely have a conversation with someone without trying to drown them in blood." Finn pointed out.

"We're having a conversation right now, you bastard. But you're right; I do suddenly want to drown you in blood." Hidan growled out.

Manjushri cleared his throat and turned back to Katrina. "So will you be joining our crew, Ms. Hawkins?" He asked politely.

"You're way too nice to be sailing with those two." She said, gesturing towards Hidan and Finn, who had crashed through a window and were now fighting outside. The Shaman went after them, and began swiping his right hand at Finn. When Hidan noticed, he quickly tried to restrain the mute, an action that was made more difficult by his inability to stop laughing.

"If you met my brother, I think you'd understand." The fat man said simply.

"Speaking of, where is Skanda?" Hawkins asked suddenly. "I should have noticed it was too quiet for him to be with you."

"Skanda is down at the docks, breaking the Marine ship down into lumber for the carpenters to use tomorrow. Also, I think he may be frightened of our mute new crewmate."

Hidan pulled himself in from the window. "I think having his arms torn off as quickly as he could grow them unsettled him a little. Also, I'm calling the Shaman our crewmute from now on."

"Hidan, if you make one more joke, I'm going to have Finn put those handcuffs on you, cut your head off, and throw it into the North Blue." Hawkins said testily.

"Why, Basil! You finally showed a sense of humor!" Katrina said with a laugh.

Hidan didn't join in. "That wasn't a joke. Aye aye, captain, no more humor from the First Mate for a little while."

Katrina stared at Hawkins for a long time. "You'd kill your second-in-command for making a bad joke?" She asked timidly.

Hidan scratched his head idly. "Strictly speaking, it wouldn't kill me. I just wouldn't enjoy it at all."

Katrina looked confused, but wisely decided not to pursue the subject. "Anyways, to answer your question," she said, turning to Manjushri. "I won't be sailing with you, no. Basil wouldn't allow it, and it's much more fun traveling by myself and popping in every now and again to visit. He's famous now, so it's not exactly hard for someone in my line of work to find out where he is."

Hawkins stopped watching Finn limp to his workshop for first aid and turned back to his sister. "That makes two times you have hinted at your profession. Just what is my little sister doing these days?"

"For the last time, I am _not _your sister. And I'm a bounty hunter, of course." Katrina said, her legs turning feline as she leapt through the broken window and headed towards the pier. "See you when I see you, Basil!" She shouted over her shoulder as she ran at an impressive speed.

Hidan and Hawkins watched her go, both staring slightly. Finally, Manjushri coughed again. "Do you think she was serious?"

Hawkins began rubbing his nose again as Hidan vaulted out the window to chase her down.

**XoXoX End Note XoXoX**

Well, Hidan's in love. But c'mon. A demented cat girl that likes messing with Hawkins as much as he does? How could the poor psycho resist?

A few other notes on this chapter:

The Shaman: For those of you who noticed Skanda's amazing two lines of dialogue this whole chapter, it's getting harder for me to write lines for all the characters. Rather than give lines to them that wouldn't make sense, like Skanda suddenly asking questions that Finn might, I cut down his involvement and made the Shaman a mute. My idea for his personality, which will be a challenge to show, is the stigma his ability has given him all his life. Hence the mask he hides his face behind, and his immediate loyalty to Hidan when the latter didn't call him a freak and try to burn him, or whatever. Also, it was difficult not to call him The Witch Doctor, in reference, of course, to _Doctor Who_ (which, fans will remember, I already referenced in my brother's story).

Katrina: In (I think) one panel of the manga, Hawkins is shown with a black cat. Since there aren't any female Hawkins' pirates, I decided to make the cat a Zoan user who will pop up occasionally in the story. The decision to make her Hawkins' adopted sister was solely for the sitcommy gag of Hidan immediately deciding she and Hawkins were sleeping together. It's cheap humor, but my girlfriend laughed, so deal with it.

How many of you expected Hidan and the Shaman to fight upon meeting, and then finally making the recruitment offer? I'm not _that _predictable folks. In fact, except for an off-screen scrap between Finn and Hidan, there was no combat in this chapter. Which now that I think on it, makes it feel kinda dialogue heavy. Drop me a review and tell me how you liked it?

Next chapter, whenever that happens, will be a short little interlude to end the "recruitment arc" and lead us into Sabaody. Til then, true believers.

_Discordia19_


End file.
